Wilma Thrustcok

Wilma Thrustcok of Ashwell writes racy romance novels and sidetracked the party when they arrived in the village. Her works include The Mistress and the Elf (a widowed noblewoman and her long-eared gardener), Rough, her seminal work (a stonemason and a sheltered aristocrat), and Big Geyser, a travel romance set at the hot springs of Mount Kessel.

From her books

The Mistress and the Elf

Lady Mirabelle had expected an assassin, a tax collector, or perhaps another tedious suitor.

Instead, the gardener removed his hood to reveal two elegantly pointed ears.

"You're an elf."

"Only on my mother's side."

She blinked.

"Father was terribly enthusiastic."

The silence lingered just long enough to become dangerous before they both laughed. Somewhere in the estate gardens, a fountain chose that exact moment to spray dramatically into the afternoon sky.

"You know," Mirabelle whispered, "I suddenly find horticulture far more interesting than I ever have before."

Rough (her seminal work)

Garrick's hands were calloused from twenty years of shaping stone.

"This lintel won't stand," he said.

Lady Eleanor frowned. "How can you tell?"

He rested a broad hand upon the weathered arch.

"Because everything worth building needs a proper foundation."

She stared at the wall.

"You're still talking about the building... aren't you?"

Garrick smiled the sort of smile that had inspired three marriages, six broken engagements and an unfortunate incident involving the mayor's daughter and a wheelbarrow.

"Mostly."

Big Geyser

"They say she erupts every hour," the guide declared proudly.

The crowd leaned forward.

Nothing happened.

"She's building anticipation."

A merchant coughed politely.

"Is she often... late?"

"Madam," the guide replied, placing a hand over his heart, "great natural wonders cannot be rushed."

As if insulted by the suggestion, the mountain answered with a deafening roar.

Steam exploded hundreds of feet into the air.

Wilma later described the event as "astonishingly forceful, emotionally satisfying, and surprisingly damp."